I was one of “those” moms.  A mom who was on WIC, Food Stamps, Medical Assistance.  I also worked full time at a state job, and had expenses like everyone else.  I know what it’s like to get “the look” when you swipe your benefits card to purchase your groceries.  

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I know what it’s like to be a single mother in a two-parent household.  

And I know how it feels to have that help whisked away.  I know how it feels to go from a budget that has $50 a month out of pocket for food/household, to three times that per week.  I know how easy it is to become dependent and find your stability in what someone else is providing you.  

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Sometimes the stability is found in chaos.

That’s life with an active addict.  Constant chaos.  I’d provided a safety net, I’d lied, I’d omitted the truth, I’d done everything I could to keep the stability (meaning, chaos) in check.  It wasn’t until I hit my bottom that he was allowed to hit his.  *I’m by no means advocating that anyone stay in any relationship that isn’t serving them.  I’ve mentioned before that I was sicker than he ever was to have put up with some of that crap.  (You can read more about that in this post – Recovery in marriage)

At some point, you become so accustomed to the chaos, that it actually feels like ‘normal’. 

You hold out hope because someday he’ll change.  Someday he’ll quit ______ or get a job – or you’ll lose that 20 pounds that just doesn’t want to go away – or your kid will get their license and be able to drive themself….  Or, or, or.

In what ways are you becoming reliant on others or systems?  

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Are you using those as a crutch to not do the things you’ve always wanted?  Are you waiting for someone else to do _____ so that you can do _________?  Are you experiencing patterns?  Are you holding a resentment?  Are you thinking that someday, you’ll get your due?  Are you keeping yourself boxed up when you were meant to fly?  

Expectations are pre-meditated resentments.uowvwz9dy6w-remi-walle

That means if you’re doing anything with the expectation that you’re owed something in return, you’re sorely mistaken.  This was made clear to me literally when my hubs said “I don’t owe you a damn thing – you could have left”.  But it goes the other way too – when you give – without expectation, but out of love and a true wanting to help another – it WILL come back to you.  

My goal is to be “That” person now.  That person who gives for the sake of giving.  Who shines to be a light in the darkness, a star to guide those who need direction.  I want so much to help the broken, heal the hurting…  That’s why I chose to be a coach.  It’s terrifying to open myself up in ways that I never have before – but I do it because I know that the message needs to be heard.  I know how badly it hurts, and how wonderful life can be on the other side.

No one owes you, but YOU.  

You owe it to yourself to create a life that you truly love.  It’s an opportunity to grow, and learn, and lean in to the safety of the universe.  To know, deep in your bones, that everything that has ever happened to you, has actually happened FOR you.  And I know, deep in mine – that I can help you if you’re ready.  


I keep a few spots open every week to help women get un-stuck.  I’d love to save a spot for you.  This is absolutely not a sales call – no pitch – no sales gimmick.  Just me and you – showing up 100% full out and getting you re-directed.  Schedule your complimentary call today by clicking the button below:

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One thought on “Nobody owes you.

  1. Wow! I needed this today. I was one of those moms and that is why today I stand up for those individuals who are belittled by others for doing the best they can to provide for their families. I haven’t made many friends by doing that but I have gotten “thank you”, hugs, and helped dry the tears of many who couldn’t / wouldn’t say anthing themselves. I hated the looks, comments, and stares but I also knew I was doing the best I could with the hand I was dealt. I do owe me.

    Liked by 1 person

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